Well, that was a bust. Turns out, rather than become more outgoing, I isolated even more. So with just a bit of de huevo en la cara, I am making another run at this.
As the new year is upon us, I always think of my friend Meg and her practice of setting an intention, rather than a resolution. I've been thinking about that, and my goal or intention of what I'd like to bring into my life is still the same - I want to increase my human contact and more importantly, increase my comfort with social interaction and to be authentic when doing so. To this day, I'd rather address a room of 400 than pick up the phone and call even the closest of friends. Calling someone just for the sake of calling, without a legitimate reason makes me anxious, it makes me nervous and it makes me feel vulnerable and vaguely ashamed. I pretty much understand the psychology behind it and now it's time to get on with a plan. Starting now, and through 2012, I will make one phone call each day. And no, calling someone and ask if their refrigerator is running doesn't count. And I will be accountable for it here.
This idea sprang from one of my blogging friends and heroes - Dana, who picked up her phone and called me last week. We had a wonderful conversation (at least I thought so) and it got me to asking myself "Could I do that?" just call like that. It would take a lot for me to do it, but I do feel that I need to do this a bunch in order to normalize the action and behavior for me. I am hoping that with time and repetition that it does get easier.
So there it is. Same goal, new strategy. I'll report back tomorrow on how it goes.
Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Reach out.
Roxie
What an absolute treat to see that there was a post from you in my Reader this morning! I think this is the perfect place to work on something like this, and as you may remember - I have very similar difficulties with the phone, myself. It is the ONLY thing I really procrastinate on. Maybe your motivation will give me some of my own.
ReplyDeleteGood luck, sweet Roxie :)
My friend Roxie!!!!! I was so surprised to see a post from you on my blog roll. Surprised and very, very happy!
ReplyDeleteHow wonderful that Dana called you like that! You know i can see her doing just that.
Glad to have you back and no matter what never forget you are not alone in the phone thing. But with me i would NEVER talk to a group of 400 nor do i like to talk on the phone. You'll have to let me know if your strategy of forcing yourself to do it for awhile really helps or not.
Yeeeaahhh Roxies baaaack!!!!
Hugs! deb
So nice to see you posting. I have found that blogging grew my circle of friends. I've been fortunate to meet a number of my blog buddies. Scary? Yes. Worthwhile? Yes! If you're ever in New York, let's meet.
ReplyDeleteHurray! I can't wait to hear about all the wonderful phone conversations you have in 2012.
ReplyDeleteI've missed reading you!
ReplyDeleteYeah!! I'm SO happy to see your name in my reader! I've missed your insight.
ReplyDeleteI'm the same way with the phone. I'll stand up and address hundreds of strangers at a conference, but put me in a cocktail hour, or in the ladie's group at church, or ask me to pick up the phone...ack!
I'll hand you a social interaction for some time in 2012. If Pebble's Slater is riding any of the same races this spring that my Architect is riding, and if you're there for moral support, we shall agree to say hello to each other.
I'm so glad to see you back - I've missed your posts so much!
ReplyDeleteI hate making phone calls too, so good luck with that one and let us know how you get on!
Season Greetings
Chrissie XXX
So glad to see your post this morning! You have been missed, Roxie!
ReplyDeleteI haven't been blogging myself these days. Looking for a new focus. Ideas welcome...
I rarely use my phone for talking these days, so feel free to call me :)
What a nice surprise to see you in my reader this morning! Welcome back to blogging, and I look forward to hearing about your year of phone calls (and who knows, maybe even getting one myself!).
ReplyDeleteI have really missed your blogging. I'm ok with the phone ... love to read blogs, but have trouble leaving comments and even though I think about starting a blog, fear keeps me from following through. Look forward to following your journey.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad I called. It was a lovely conversation. I plan on doing it again. Watch out!!
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you are back! I am going through the same problem and I always thought that it is because I was growing in Poland with no phone, it is so hard for me to call and reach out to my friends. You have inspired me so greatly in 2011!
ReplyDeleteRoxi -maybe one day you will call me too? I am sure that are so many people that would love to have a conversation with you. Certainly, I am one of them:):):) Go for it girl! Let me know if you wish for my phone number:):):):)Wishing you all the best for the new year!!!
LOVE IT! and you!
ReplyDeleteLet's meet up for java oneday, eh?
I know a place has has some of the best!
Look at all the love! We have missed you Roxie. Glad to see your post and hear of your intentions for 2012.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes for a healthy and happy 2012!
Welcome back! Looking forward to more of your wisdom which I've missed these past few months.
ReplyDeleteOMG!!!! I am SOOOO glad you are back. I'm glad we linked on Facebook, but boy I sure missed your blog. I'm sorry "not blogging" didn't work out as you wanted, but I'm glad for me (and others who follow you). Welcome back, lady!
ReplyDeleteI was very excited to see you're back! It's weird because I was just thinking about you. About how you left the blog world and how much I missed your lovely posts. You write the best posts.
ReplyDeleteI'm not good at picking up the phone either. When I do call someone just to chat, which is rare, I always enjoy it.
One thing I deeply regret is not calling my sister more often, especially during the past two years after her husband died. I knew she was lonely, and I loved talking to her, but I just didn't take the time to do it. Now I can't and it breaks my heart. You just never know when people will be gone.
So I guess think of the phone calls as not just good for you, but good for the person on the other end of the line. You'll make their day. :)
So glad you're back!
Can I just say, I'm glad you are back! ;)
ReplyDeleteI use to feel the same aniexty about reaching out for no reason... but feel I'm getting better at it now that I have less expectations of how the results will be after I have reached out. :)
So happy to find you back in the blog world. I have had the same experience when I have stopped blogging. I'll be reading you...Yay!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you're back. I missed your insight and wisdom!
ReplyDelete